Trying to connect the dots.....

  The fence is often where I find myself when the noises too heavy  each claiming to be true  mind beaten black and blue  When the dust settles, noises fade  what's true might not be true  what's fair might not be fair  the fence is often where I find myself  Why can't you make up your mind?  peer pressure so strong,  Impulses too wrong,  I did jump off the fence  once, twice, thrice  just in the nick of time  to please the voices,  just to find myself on the wrong side of history  No matter how you slice it!  The fence is often where I find myself  The wiser I got, the firmer I held onto the fence  No pressure too strong, hence  Those who pick sides may have a beef with me  Alas, a precious few get my view  a bird's view from the fence  I am just waiting for the noises to fade  And, we find a calming ground  while I sit on my fence,  I am not timid, not a co...

 All I wanted was a balcony, A perfect window to an epiphany  A perfect envy to the onlookers too A small desk with a seat, made of timber Some plants , some wall art That spoke of me This person I was in private. My kind of sundowner, this would be! I waited for this place  To unwind, to unfold my thoughts For years, All I wanted was a balcony  My happy place! While walking on that street  from my childhood home towards my dream home That donned a balcony  A resolve to all my quests A perfect place to nurse my dreams A sundeck with hues of dawn, And moonlit ever and anon All I wanted was a balcony  Unbeknownst to the little me, I now hang clothes in my balcony! There is no timber,  Only dreams that linger All I want now is to go back to that street And look for that balcony Dreams can't be bought, How timber-headed of me! Afterall it's the chase, My happy place, Unbeknownst to the little me!

I am curious, tell me everything about thee, an open book I am, you may say I wonder, even an open book has shallow words, spilled rather carelessly, or done willfully I will never know, for you are the master of your secrets I am curious, to know the real thee, who are we really without these secrets? a bunch of lies? you may ask the whys and wherefores  or even dismiss my quest, none of my business you see business is what I bleed at! after devouring everything that you have said, I still look beseechingly at thee, like I am gazing into the infinity of secrets, just to be free from the quest! Inversely, I sense you fighting too covering every chink in your armour to say nothing or to bare it all captivating they are, food for the soul too, you might even take them to your grave! I may say as I please, in fact, you are brave! yet, I beseech you, tell me your secrets I am curious It is because I care, I will consider and cover! I can play with the words,  but truth be told, I ...

One thing that has remained constant among the world humans under this lockdown (forced & self) is their involuntary quest for both introspection and extrospection. Whether we want it or not, life has boiled down to the bare essentials even for the fortunate ones. while we women fight for equal treatment as that of our male counterparts, nature has done its bit in making us realise that women and men are just a few levels of androgen apart. All thanks to the salons being shut. Some of us who are not that good at DIY techniques can give a complex to the males in the locked house with our bushy eyebrows, noticeable moustaches and a dash of beard. Among the thousands of forwards being forwarded during this lockdown, there was one such forward that resonated with my current feeling. So, I too mindlessly forwarded the same to the other groups without knowing there would be a backlash by a man! Yes, a man stating that, I shouldn't be engaging in gender discrimination.  ...

Meeting! The Oxford dictionary says,"A meeting is an assembly of people for a particular purpose". Let's delve deeper into the particulars and the purposes. Going by the above definition, I have been attending meetings ever since I was a toddler.  How? Let me tell you.  As a kid, I have always enjoyed going to birthday meetings, because the purpose was always clear,  "To eat the cake!" It's pretty much the same even now, just that eating cake is not as simple as before especially when birthday meetings are planned as meticulously as a wedding where cakes are based on themes. The last birthday meeting I attended had a theme, "Love your animals" so as you might have guessed it the cake was a bone shaped vanilla cake which looked almost like a bone. To say the least, I wasn't pleased. Talking about young adult days, when I used to attend conferences/lectures just to appear intellectual amongst my peers. Here too, the purpose was very c...

"Time management is an oxymoron. Time is beyond our control, and the clock keeps ticking regardless of how we lead our lives. Priority management is the answer to maximize the time we have" . what a great phrase by John C Maxwell! As if life was that simple... As if life and the society at large weren’t enough to fill our lives with oxymorons, we have these anonymously or famously quoted phrases that we come across quite frequently. Some can give you a new perspective, some can inspire you and some can really make you sick in your head. When I look back at some of those quotes that have inspired me, I feel I have somewhere failed to read between the lines. I say that because  if moral policing with rebellious people , can be done only by reverse psychology, the morality gets imbibed in impulsive people like me by the motivational quotes. The quotes that randomly appear before them and never by elderly guidance. You know the ones who tell you, “they have seen life so...

“It is never too late to be what you might have been”. I realized my childhood dream of learning the basics of at least one dance form during my adolescence. Thus, enrolled to a one month salsa class organised at our college. According to me, there are two types of dancers, one that dances like no one is watching and the other kind who dances like every living or non-living organism is watching. My Capricorn husband who was my then and the only boyfriend I have ever had belonged to the latter kind. “When we least expect it, life sets us a challenge to test our courage and willingness to change”. Alas, that challenge doesn’t look like one when you are in love. Capricorns always like to know everything about the territory they are entering into. So, my Capricorn boyfriend decides to watch a video of the dance form and asked me “what if you don’t have a partner? To which I replied casually “they will assign”. And, he immediately enrolled to the class, who until then enjoyed dancing ...

Today my research based article is based on something that is an undisputed favourite of all Indians, few of its neighbouring countries and all the food connoisseurs from across the globe; something that unites people beyond cultural and social barriers. Yes, I am talking about Pani Puri!                            Whenever I get Pani Puri attacks, My husband gets a panic attack because I need to have at least one come what may, to tackle it. This lip-smacking savoury consists of a crisp sphere made using either wheat flour or semolina that is stuffed with a variety of fillings depending on the place where it is being served; then generously dipped in flavoured water which again varies from place to place. We all have something that we secretly or not so secretly hate to share. For some, it might be your louis vuitton handbag, your Kanchivaram saree or your Apple products. However, for me, it is my ...

A few years ago, while I was still recovering from my cesarean delivery and had barely analyzed the features of my one-day-old baby girl, I could hear only one conversation running in the room, "Whom does she look like?". It was of course only my husband who had contributed to her genes according to his kith and kin. The twentieth time I heard that question, I frankly wanted to scream that, she looks like a boiled potato right now! I love my daughter but how can a day old baby resemble anybody! I think clashing of ideologies began that day and doesn't seem to cease anytime soon. Child rearing is like those baby soap ads, which looks all glossy and glamorous only on Instagram and Facebook and that too when others post them.  Parenthood is already imposed with so many practical hiccups that, sleepless nights are just too mundane to talk about. Your toddler wants to poop only when you are having your food. These two activities have coincided so many times that I n...

Feminism - the outcome of choosing such a topic lies in the state of one’s mind while penning down thoughts. If you are feeling good then it can motivate men to become feminists. Otherwise, it can simply turn out to be a hate speech.   This ideology has many facets depending on the societal class one belongs to or the political situation one is subjected to. While we have a section of women fighting for equal pay at work and longer maternity leaves, we still have a lot of them struggling for basic political rights & requirements pertaining to personal health. So, this topic has a wide spectrum. Therefore, I will talk briefly about only one such stigma plaguing our society that dictates traditional gender-specific roles. And, I believe its impact is mostly on the middle-class ambitious women.  The conscience is quite clear when it comes to other sections of our society. On one end, if we have women entrepreneurs paving their way to the Forbes list, on the other end...

As the name suggests, it’s the desire to wander which sometimes happens by choice and the other times without one. I have been a true wanderer both in terms of my mind (with innumerable questions) & my feet literally doing the city hopping. I have a few anecdotes from my experiences that I would like to share today that will hopefully give you all a peek-a-boo into my life’s journey so far. I was born in Mysore, Karnataka the cultural capital of the state as it is widely known, but I’d prefer to call it as one of the most well planned & cleaner cities of India. I received formal education till my engineering in Mysore & having born in the year 1987, my childhood was pretty much the same as that of any 90’s kid across the country. Which means, I had chances of developing cold occasionally due to playing in the mud or rain rather than developing a texting thumb syndrome due to smartphones. Thank god for that! I always thought I knew my city very well until my husband ...

We all have certain hackneyed phrases that make us, want to tear our hair. I do have one, “You have to balance my dear". Well, I can definitely relate to something like a controlled behaviour, but the act of balancing somehow never seemed comprehensive and perhaps, will never appeal to me in future as well. It certainly helps you get the title of a well balanced woman/man in the eyes of the society. However, I feel the need to be the saviour of this society and family that has unflattering and curbing rules is the easiest way to be a victim of “Flush yourself" syndrome. My intention here is not to sound like an anti- social body, but to raise my vote for an eclipsed behaviour rather than a guilt-tripping one because if you are not yourself you are in disguise.  There are so many times when you just want to say and do things the way you actually feel, but the same never gets vocal or applied for the greater good (at least that is what most of the diplomats feel), beca...

Thoughts often volatize into dreams By thoughts, I mean the ones That I emptied myself into Before I know they are bygones I find nursing the newborns The fire never burns out It just blazes inside out My soul wants to be painted With beauty, dreams though rented Thou make me feel beautiful I am in my dreamscape Gaping at the valleys And thou beside me Your eyes speak more than your words Hoping I would unleash from the spell My eyes are now less colloquial Yet your superficial gaze Makes my heart leap few beats I am in my dreamscape Oh! I feel beautiful The music fades and I look for you and... You are gone, may be In quest of your own dreams I found seized in my own dreams Yet the fire never burns out It just blazes inside out The chase meets a breakthrough And my soul is not feeling blue Thou still make me feel beautiful For the beauty lies in the state of mind The dreamer in me is no more blind The voyage continues with hope, dreams & spirit pined!

I really think "Moral flexibility" is one of the traits which need to be mentioned in my CV hereafter along with stuff like "Responsible", "Diligent", Blah blah.... My rules were very simple before I began working. You are bad- I am bad. You are good- I am very good (I get a little carried away ;-)). This was morality to me in its simplest form. It happened so that I applied for leave last week and I had mentioned the dates denoting my leave of absence(it summed up to a week including 2 Sundays and a Saturday). But, (The volatile rules of English allows the usage of conjunctions in the beginning of the sentences provided the strong requirement of the same is justifiable and this one surely is) my boss who is so used to me not applying for leave didn't happen to see the dates and he assumed that I am only going for 3 days alike most of them in my office who are all localities, damn it. Therefore, my leave was approved! Actually only my leave was appr...

This term sounds good only when my favourite people who have worked towards their relationships, use it to describe their yet-to-marry or married partners. The other times, it sounds as though they are caught bribing! After 52 days of doing nothing, this theory is another hypothesis in question for me. The first thing that pops up when I think of soulmate is apparently not my mate, but the adds for psychic readings with a big FREE tab on them at almost all the sites. You will know the reason for this anti-Mills & Boons theory if you have come across any of those. All I could sense out of that was the psychics' penchant for brain washing words! What we, the non-psychics call attraction/hormonal imbalance or appreciation of beauty(for the non derogatory speakers), the psychics name it as instant emotional connect or instinct.... Another interesting thing to share here is that I have hardly come across any couple where both have felt that they always belonged to e...

6.30 PM: Watching IPL match - Royal Challengers-Bengaluru vs Mumbai Indians at a cousin's place 6.40 PM: My baby sister(cousin/not so own..lol) tries to snatch the TV remote to change the channel 6.41 PM: My brother(own!) screams loud enough to shoo her off 6.43 PM: Dejected cousin asks, "which team is ours?" 6.45 PM: My brother gives a what-the-hell look and grins," Bengaluru". 6.46 PM: My sister further says "red or bleau?(concentrate on phonics please):-)" 6.47 PM: RCB lost a wicket and my brother gives a all-because-of-u look and my sister picks her nose and very gently places the matter found on my brother's jeans{Eeeww i saw it;-( }and satisfies her fungal revenge! 6.48PM: My sister repeats her question, "red or bleau?", this time looking at my father and my father replies "Red chinna"..pulling her nose which gave her further irritation and she picked her nose again![matter not found...phew!] 6.49 PM: My s...

I have a habit of scanning my blog every now and then to check if I have committed some "OMG" mistakes because by the time you pen your thoughts and post it, you will be saying Ohhhh Myyyy Gawwwd( In Janice style @ F.R.I.E.N.D.S). So, it is very human to commit such mistakes. Yesterday, I noticed that the most commonly used things in my posts are "lol" or "hehehe"!!!! I started wondering why do we use them so often and I found only 2 reasons. 1. The writers/readers actually experience "laugh my ass off" situation while writing/reading something so they want the world to know. or 2. It is just another higher degree of communicating the emotion of a less cool phrase "just kidding" expecting/hoping for the people to take whatever you have written in their stride! I must admit that I have used these expressions mostly for the first reason, but have used it for the second one too at many instances... Hmmm when you ar...

It is new year for kannadigas and if I am not wrong for Andhraites and Maharashtrians too... As a kid I used to be excited prior to almost all the festivals be it Sankranti, Ugadi, Deepavali or Ganesha-Gauri festival.Firstly, because there used to be a holiday and secondly because it was fun to go out for shopping with mum-dad to buy clothes (totally inappropriate for the occasions though). I strangely enjoyed and still do (unfortunately nobody believes me)joining my mum in cleaning up the house or in preparing some desserts that require heavy labour (holige, yallu-bella,etc). The best part of the festival day would be "meeting-the-bhai bhandus"! My dad is a firm believer in networking so he tried his best to enrich our social lives on those occasions( he has given up now!). He always says, 'you have to be amidst all kind of people (good, bad and humans) to know yourself better'. It made no sense to me then dad, but now I couldn't agree with you more. To be ho...

English language unlike science is not universal. It varies with countries and within the different sectors of the society. Newton's law of gravity is valid everywhere except for the people who have bought or have been gifted with craters on the moon. The fact that English has evolved/dissolved from a suffocatingly refined British rendition to slangish American version to a Bloggish adaptation has proven the language to be highly vulnerable/flexible!(just to respect both negative and positive thinkers) The bloggish language has allowed many to explore their "always-wanted-to-use" phrases who were earlier forced by the Govt and Non-Govt forces to frame sentences with underlined meanings. A quick sneak peak into some of the cliched yet very apna bloggish versions of politically correct phrases.... 1. Most of our politicians are corrupt fucked up 2. Bone of contention pain in the ass 3. I am between jobs I sit on my ass all day doing nothing 4. The above expres...

Darkness spreads so does the silence silence appearing ceaseless just before the discord shimmering colors that are unattainable; dreams unbelievable in the day's light traffic too dissolving into the stillness driving in the breeze which curls through my hair strangely symbolizing freedom the joy of thinking nothing just brushing the fresh air all seeming to stay forever the moon throwing a dim light through the dark inviting dormancy to the slumber-land night's dream intoxicating the negatives the most wonderful feel without, being conscious of the feel darkness is not all that dark after all reality in its most unrealistic form shattering the doors of the impossible nothing...just had a wonderful ride :)