Unhibernating!

 

Some reunions always seem unwanted at the surface! Coming face to face with long lost family friends and well-wishers is ought to be filled with verbal and non-verbal judgements, especially the non-verbal judgements being hard to ignore.

You have done your engineering right, and now into photography and filmmaking… "Why? Did it not work out? Did you even try applying for jobs after the maternity break? Is this field of work even profitable? Are you doing good?"

While the Gen-Zs would have archived this unsolicited intervention without any consideration, we millennials are still straddling between, “Ignore them” and “let me explain”, often lopsided toward the latter!

A job, a kid, career break, another kid, career breakdown, Covid, forced introspection, new certifications to resurrect a career that was never meant to be, hibernation of LinkedIn account because I had nothing to say, a career change and finally unhibernation of LinkedIn account! It’s interesting to note that only the job had a standard operating procedure and what followed that has been a ride that is both overwhelming and underwhelming in equal measures.

Have I found my true calling? Can I answer this with a simple yes or no? No!

I am a staunch believer that your work should speak for itself. To be honest, I was unbothered for the first few years of my photography journey. I was immersed in the magical world, a micro world that I created for myself with a chosen few,

Choosing peace over PR,

Choosing authenticity over speed,

Which I still do!

However, the micro world is now getting bigger not because of success but due to an inclination toward success. I have been silently working on a passion project for the last 16 months. Yes, very silently, no noise, no PR, no buzz. Not a theory that I advocate for, especially in this line of work, but sometimes you need to do what you need to do to focus…No hocus pocus!

Then why speak now?

Well, if you look carefully, I am still speaking to the micro world but slowly preparing for the, “What if(s)”! A way of refueling optimism during a testing phase. A theory that I completely advocate for, especially in this line of work where everything is binary.

A thought infused by a former filmmaker whom I randomly interacted with during one of the networking sessions. “Isn’t our line of work binary? You are either considered successful or not, there in nothing in between!”. Back then, I was bubbling with impractical enthusiasm and only felt sad that he gave up on his passion and returned to the standard operating procedures. 

Today, after living the irony of “independence” in the independent filmmaking, after being the captain of the ship, the spot girl and many things in between, I no longer see this journey as binary. 

Maybe it is part of me being a quiet rebellion, rebelling against the definitions of success that feel borrowed. 

And if it’s binary, what if……..I am just buffering? Loading without a PR team!