Welcome to my crappy world...

Welcome to my crappy world...
The inner landscape is often full of oxymorons...at least mine is!

Thursday, November 17, 2011

Random Roommate theory

Seldom you feel the need to wake up early to rejuvenate your outlook and revive your beliefs. Shocked were my parents and so was my homogeneous roommate when they learnt about my extreme step of saluting the Sun when its rising. Well this post is not about my rejuvenation, its about random roommate theory(something like big bang:-))

In a new city, when everything feels alien to your conscience you don't get to choose your roommates. You are meant to be with that bunch. So, I randomly met my roommates on a random street on a random day & finally decided to stay with them on a totally random basis.It so happened that the days to come were filled with joy, sharing, laughter, envy, tolerance, intolerance & crimes:-)

Yesterday one of my roommates' marriage got fixed and she shall be leaving us soon. So, I randomly realized this early morning that the days spent together can be paralleled with the survival of the fittest paradigm. There have been days I have felt like I have had the time of my life and there have been days I felt like packing my bags  & leaving without notice. It's only now that I have envisaged the good fortune of only exchanging cold vibes at the times of great crisis. I remember being asked once about the stream of communication I'd prefer- written or oral. I couldn't decide then, but I feel there wouldn't have been a better time than now to know that its written (for a sole reason that I have anger management issues) because it helps you appear sorted though you are not.
Fortunately, I've always shared a comfortable bond with all my roommates so far except for a racism fanatic and a pachyderm:-). The reason I feel I can attend all their weddings without any setbacks is that I have vented it out when my inner peace was under trouble and I have pumped in love and humor when it had even crossed the oxygen content in my blood. The means I have opted to vent out may be considered as hypocrisy by all the idealists as I subconsciously and consciously relied on back fence talks.
How Could she...?
How can anyone do that...?
I do not understand....Its out of my comprehensive orbit...
& the likes.....
Nonetheless, I have adored them & I still do:-)

Its a situation when you realize that its best that you swear to god to keep the dark secrets that you coldly witness in the dark hoping that yours will be buried too without making you feel blameworthy. Its a sacred oath & applies fairly & largely on roommates. Any intention of trying it on others is totally one's own liability for it may result in a total random success or otherwise.

So, my conclusion of the random roommate theory is that one needs short term memory or should have friends whose memory lapses randomly, mercy and lots of humor to survive and survive happily amidst the bundles of contradictions!
So so so now follows the sacred adult slogan for all those who have had random roommates....

" We spit in the same bowl,
   We shit in the same hole,
   Only we know where one has got his/her mole!"

Dedicated to Haathi, Piggu & Icu..:-)

Wednesday, August 31, 2011

The Balance Act!

We all have certain hackneyed phrases that make us want to tear our hair. I do have one, “You have to balance my dear". Well, I can definitely relate to something like a controlled behaviour, but the act of balancing somehow never seemed comprehensive perhaps will never appeal to me in future as well. It certainly helps you get the title of a well balanced woman/man in the eyes of the society. However, I feel the need to be the saviour of this society and family and what not that has unflattering and curbing rules is the easiest way to be a victim of “Flush yourself" syndrome. My intention here is not to sound like an anti- social body, but to raise my vote for an eclipsed behaviour rather than a guilt-tripping one because if you are not yourself you are in disguise. 

There are so many times when you just want to say and do things the way you actually feel, but the same never gets vocal or applied for the greater good (at least that is what most of the diplomats feel), because in my opinion minds that can both forget and forgive hardly coexist. You'll either have some to taunt about the bygones or some who tend to cut you off if they cannot let go of certain incidents. I think the balancing act is the biggest irony of life, for I still fail to understand if it is a threat to freedom or tact to lead a life free of oppositions. The juxtaposed thought arises because we often come across people who believe in saying yes to everything and everyone and mutely carving their ways to get what they want plus it works magically. On the other hand, we have people who just burst out and don't balance their nice and not so nice words and this works only when their planetary positions are favourable. Sometimes, I also feel that most of the women do the balancing act to woo men because you strangely come across as a sexy woman when you confuse people and men are rare too who can fearlessly flaunt their extreme thoughts. Somewhere, we give up being ourselves tired, irritated and more dangerously convinced. 

This post is for all the free-spirited people who feel freedom is like oxygen and need a lungful of it each time they breathe, but realign their thoughts with "Ifs and Buts" subconsciously and most of times very much consciously manifesting things conveniently to fit into a bunch of society saviours who write blogs whenever their frustrations have flown and settled.

Finally a demonstration to demonstrate the consequence of an unbalanced diet.
X- You have to voice your opinion; else they will take you for granted.

Y- You need to be a little submissive. Simple things can get complicated. Calm down and think with a cool head. Somebody has to lose.

Z- Time shall pass. Do not take hasty decisions. You will get opportunities. Just relax.

&....What do you wanna do?
XYZ- I actually wanna take a dump because I had too much food thinking what to do!!!

Sunday, February 27, 2011


Thoughts often volatize into dreams
By thoughts, I mean the ones
That I emptied myself into
Before I know they are bygones
I find nursing the newborns

The fire never burns out
It just blazes inside out
My soul wants to be painted
With beauty, dreams though rented

Thou make me feel beautiful
I am in my dreamscape
Gaping at the valleys
And thou beside me
Your eyes speak more than your words
Hoping I would unleash from the spell
My eyes are now less colloquial

Yet your superficial gaze
Makes my heart leap few beats
I am in my dreamscape
Oh! I feel beautiful

The music fades and I look for you and...
You are gone, may be
In quest of your own dreams
I found seized in my own dreams
Yet the fire never burns out
It just blazes inside out

The chase meets a breakthrough
And my soul is not feeling blue
Thou still make me feel beautiful
For the beauty lies in the state of mind
The dreamer in me is no more blind
The voyage continues with hope, dreams & spirit pined!

Friday, January 7, 2011

Moral Flexibility;)

I really think "Moral flexibility" is one of the traits which need to be mentioned in my CV hereafter along with stuff like "Responsible", "Diligent", Blah blah.... My rules were very simple before I began working. You are bad- I am bad. You are good- I am very good (I get a little carried away ;-)). This was morality to me in its simplest form.

It happened so that I applied for leave last week and I had mentioned the dates denoting my leave of absence(it summed up to a week including 2 Sundays and a Saturday). But, (The volatile rules of English allows the usage of conjunctions in the beginning of the sentences provided the strong requirement of the same is justifiable and this one surely is) my boss who is so used to me not applying for leave didn't happen to see the dates and he assumed that I am only going for 3 days alike most of them in my office who are all localities damn it. Therefore, my leave was approved! Actually only my leave was approved. The rest had to go through some drama before they could pull it off.

Apparently, until today I thought that my boss was considerate enough to have noticed my sincerity in terms of attendance. But, (again the same rule) when it dawned to him that it was an approval given by accident he gave an expression which sucked all the expressions from my face and I had a blank one( Like the one I used to have during my oral exams back in school..lol).

I was praising him since a week before some of my colleagues saying that he knows who works sincerely and who doesn't. More importantly I felt all those unofficial adjustments I made regarding his attendance is all totally worth it. Now that I respect him due to his strong sense of conviction for almost everything, I can't hate him for this guilt filled leave sanction. So, I decided to expand my boundary of morality and decided not to apply that "you are bad- I am bad" policy. I believe subconsciously we all are morally flexible, but sometimes it makes you feel betrayed!