Welcome to my crappy world...

Welcome to my crappy world...
The inner landscape is often full of oxymorons...at least mine is!

Monday, April 8, 2019

Living between the "quotes"

"Time management is an oxymoron. Time is beyond our control, and the clock keeps ticking regardless of how we lead our lives. Priority management is the answer to maximize the time we have". what a great phrase by John C Maxwell!

As if life was that simple...

As if life and the society at large weren’t enough to fill our lives with oxymorons, we have these anonymously or famously quoted phrases that we come across quite frequently. Some can give you a new perspective, some can inspire you and some can really make you sick in your head.
When I look back at some of those quotes that have inspired me, I feel I have somewhere failed to read between the lines. I say that because  if moral policing with rebellious people, can be done only by reverse psychology, the morality gets imbibed in impulsive people like me by the motivational quotes that randomly appear before them and never by elderly guidance; you know the ones who tell you, “they have seen life so basically you don’t have to see it”.

For the impulsive me, I feel these quotes are most of the times the universe’s conspiracy to question my decisiveness.Few random experiences to tell you all how confusing my journey has been, but looks unapologetic retrospectively.

The “Trophy” husband
One of the quotes that put things into perspective recently for me was “winning is something, but participation is everything”. Now, its another thing that I took it quite seriously and ended up having more participation certificates than the winner trophies. All this never really mattered until I got a trophy husband who has almost won everything in his life, plus knows to cook. So, whenever I get trolled offline by his kith and kin about how lucky I am, I reiterate this magical phrase (in my head  of course) that works wonders for my ego- “blood is thicker than water”.

The forbidden truth
I think the two most decisive moments in a woman’s life is one at the twelfth grade and the other while choosing a life partner. Another famous quote goes something like..

"Remember that creating a successful marriage is like farming; you have to start over again every morning"- H. Jackson Brown, Jr. 

Fortunately or unfortunately, the quotes on marriage somehow rings a bell only after you are married. On that note, drum rolls for all the married bravehearts.

Coming back to the twelfth grade when you have to make a career choice, I was exposed to the maximum motivational quotes. I have always envied people who know what they have to do at the age of 18. It’s right when they say “things forbidden have a secret charm”. No, I am not referring to those  who push the door that has a "pull" signage and vice versa. On a serious note, I chose to apply the forbidden theory to my career which may or may not necessarily be the wisest thing to do according to my parents, in my defense they should be happy that I didn’t apply it on my marriage.

Since, I was fond of creative things, I was thinking of architecture. The elderly guidance that can make a teenager sick in her head like “oh civil engineering is not for girls”, “you should opt for something safe like architecture or computer science and get a safe job”. So, the feminist in me who liked the forbidden fruit obviously opted for the forbidden. However, handling relatives and family friends who know nothing about being civil, I mean civil engineering (pun intended) was another task in itself.

Pressure "Cook"er
Another commonly used phrase in a patriarchal society is “the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. Now, I didn’t know how to cook before my kids were born so I had to start from the brain. So, I washed his innocent brain instead of the vegetables according to the popular belief in love marriages. 

Constants & variables
some quotes are so contradictory that it takes the mickey out of you. If one quote reads, “keep your friends close and your enemies closer", the other as per spiritual ecosphere says, “don’t ever let negative people rent space in your head”. By the time, one understands what’s positive and negative to them and apply these theories, the dynamics of the relationships would’ve changed, and it often leaves you self pitying about how you are still the same and everybody around you has changed.

Some of us are optimists, some pessimists and some are somewhere between these two. However, all of us want the best out of our lives. Ever since I have started questioning every theory around me before accepting or denying it, very few quotes have appealed to both my left brain and right brain and I am ending my words with one of them by Steve Jobs…

“you cannot connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So, you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something, your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever!”

Again, if life was that simple...

On that quote, happy introspecting!