Welcome to my crappy world...

Welcome to my crappy world...
The inner landscape is often full of oxymorons...at least mine is!

Thursday, April 29, 2010

"Soulmates"

This term sounds good only when my favourite people who have worked towards their relationships use it to describe their yet-to-marry or married partners. The other times it sounds as though they are caught bribing!
After 52 days of doing nothing, this theory is another hypothesis in question for me.

The first thing which bubbles up when I think of soulmate is apparently not my mate, but the adds for psychic readings with a big FREE tab on them at almost all the sites. You will know the reason for this anti-Mills & Boons theory if you have come across any of those.


All I could sense out of that was the psychics' penchant for brain washing words!
What we, the non-psychics call attraction/harmonal imbalance or appreciation of beauty(for the non derogatory speakers), the psychics name it as instant emotional connect/instinct and some crap like that...

Another interesting thing to share here is that I have hardly come across any couple where both have felt that they had always belonged to each other.

Y SO?????

May be because the "doer" is so accomodative that the believer believes that the other person has been sent by God just for him/her.
Finally when the music fades and the relationship requires work, one or both the partners suddenly discover that they were 'mistaken'. If they were soulmates, it wouldn't be so much work afterall!

According to theosophy, a perfect human being is spilt into separate genders by God perhaps because of karma incurred by them. Over a number of reincarnations, each half seeks the other. When all the karmic debts are cleared, the two will fuse back together and return to the ultimate!
Ultimate crap!!!!!!

Ideally, the rights of giving gyan on this belongs to either a person who has had many disasters or a person with a history of a single long lasted relationship, but who cares???;-);-)

love  gyan is all about giving!!!!

So, here goes my gyan...

"Relationships are meant to be maintained"
Never understood where the "soulmates" funda fit in...

Since, I have thought so much about Ishq Vishq Pyar Vyar, it is quite obvious that I have derived some abnormal meanings for normal terms.

Soulmate: The one who is not easily attainable in a man's present life(The reason being disparity either in attractiveness/status/ CASTE/religion/temperment)
Sole-mate: The one who is too occupied to have too many affairs...hehe
Lastly, what do you call a person interested in married/committed people???
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Checkmate!!!!!;-)

Thursday, March 25, 2010

DLF IPL......mother of confusing excitement!

6.30 PM: Watching IPL match - Royal Challengers-Bengaluru vs Mumbai Indians at a cousin's place

6.40 PM: My baby sis(cousin/not so own..lol) tries to snatch the TV remote to change the channel

6.41 PM: My brother(own!) screams loud enough to shoo her off

6.43 PM: Dejected sis asks, "which team is ours?"

6.45 PM: My brother gives a what-the-hell look and grins," Bengaluru".

6.46 PM: My sis says "red or bleau?:-)"

6.47 PM: RCB lost a wicket and ma brother gives a all-because-of-u look and ma sis picks her nose and very gently places the matter found on ma brother's jeans{eeeeesh i saw it;-( }and satisfies her fungal revenge!

6.48PM: My sis repeats her question, "red or bleau?", this time looking at my father and my father replies "Red chinna"..pulling her nose which gave her some irritation and she picked her nose again![matter not found...phew!]

6.49 PM: My sis says,"But, our(Indian) team s always in bleau"!She spots Sachin in bleau and after her enlightenment screams, "hey c c Sachinnn is wearing bleauuu..that is our team..hahaha".

6.50PM: Commercial going on and still nobody has bothered to explain the poor baby..{I am a culprit too...but heyyyy the match was at it's most exciting phase!!!!!}

6.52PM: My sis with that "these fools dunno which team is ours" feel heads towards my aunt who was busy looking at the clock praying for the match to get over before her family drama soap!

6.53PM: Sis asks ma aunt," amma which team is ours?"
PS: My aunt has no own/not so own connection with IPL.

6.54PM: My aunt says, "I dunno..go wash ur face...my saree s getting spoilt..u have become very adamant these days"....[i dunno y ma cousin felt that her mom knew the answer :| ]....looking at her kid's restlessness she decides to put her thoughts as well as our thoughts to rest by saying "BOTH!" waaaaaaaaa....

6.55PM: My baby cousin runs upstairs!lololololol

7.00PM: RCB wins!!!!I was elated but when I saw my aunt's face, I dunno y the hell I wished for a tie!!!!!!

Errrrrrrrg...Now, I dunno whether my aunt was innocent or ignorant!
All the bengaluru supporters who are die-hard fans of Sachin will know exactly what went through my head!

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

lol!!!!!!

I have a habit of scanning my blog every now and then to check if I have committed some "OMG" mistakes because by the time you pen your thoughts and post it, you ll b saying Ohhhh Myyyy Gawwwd( The Janice ishtyle @ F.R.I.E.N.D.S).
So, it is very human to commit such mistakes. Yesterday, I noticed that the most commonly used things in my posts r "lol" or "hehehe"!!!!
I started wondering y do we use them so often and I found only 2 reasons.

1. The writers/readers actually experience "laugh my ass off" situation while writing/reading something so they want the world to know.

or

2. It is just another higher degree of communicating the emotion of a less cool phrase "just kidding" expecting/hoping for the people to take whatever you have written in their stride!

I must admit that I have used these expressions mostly for the first reason, but have used it for the second one too at many instances...
Hmmm when you are using such social forums U gotta take care of some morons...lol ;-);-)

Monday, March 15, 2010

Happy Ugadiiiiii

It is new year for kannadigas and if I am not wrong for Andhraites too... As a kid I was always enthralled prior to almost all the festivals be it Sankranti, Ugadi, Deepavali or Ganesha-Gauri fest.Firstly because there used to b a holiday and it was all fun to go for shopping with mum-dad to buy clothes (totally inappropriate for the occasions..lol). I strangely enjoyed (I still do unfortunately nobody believes:-( ) joining my mum in cleaning up stuff or in preparing some sweet dishes which require heavy labour (holige, yallu-bella,etc). The best part of the fest day would be "meeting-the-bhai bhandus" sessions! My dad s a firm believer in networking so he tried his best to enrich our social lives during those occasions( he has given up now:-))He always says you have to be amidst all kinda people (good, bad and humans) to know urself better. It made no sense to me then dad, but now I can't agree with you more on that.


To be honest, I used to enjoy this milna julna with some of my relatives and lots of family friends till I finished my ninth class.I still remember people preparing me mentally for my board exams by giving horror trailors so I decided to meet them all only after my tenth.Luckily I fetched some decent marks but the interface level got worse with my promotion. It was my second year of pre-university and it was kinda mandatory for me to get into some reputed engineering or medical college for my parents to escape all the sarcasm. Luckily sailed through that too(though had to face many twists, turns and total suspense) How I cursed having so many engineers and doctors to be of my age in my family and friends!


Then it was time to score distinction come what may; else you are next to the non biodegradable waste found in the city corporation pit (actually sounds better in kannada-"CARporation kasad thotti" =)) ) I managed to get that too! It was like constant exposure to unwanted radiations causing irritations in head and throat. May be that s the reason I treasure my post graduation days as I was away from all of this ( I pity my parents though who had to take all the torture). Though I hardly cared, I had to put on pretence because my mum thought if I am rude I won't get marriage offers:|


YES! That is the next stage of irritation....I just finished my post graduation (Thanks to my dad for not getting inspired by almost all the fellowdads who were marrying off their born-to-be-bride daughters soon after they learnt to drape a saree...in that case dad u ve to wait for quite some time as i still dunno...hehe...and my condolences to those who were guilt-tripped)

Very few people are interested to know about my job profile or my company..All they want to know is when my dad is ready to shell out most of his hard earned money on feeding thousands of them that I'll be introduced to me on my marriage!

Hilariously if my parents don't say "we are searching", there is something fishy in our vegetarian kitchen...lol..
Not three but tons of cheers to all those sane people who experience joy when they see yet-to-marry ambitious gals chasing their dreams!

Considering the feminist point of view, which supports equality of men and women in all aspects I ve something to say..." I have just crossed the minimum age required for a guy to marry!"Phew!!!!

For all the marriage crazy people, I too am a die-hard fan of movies like "Father of the bride I & II, Big fat Greek wedding, etc"; I too have grown up imagining (alike most of the south gals) walking in a Kanchivaram saree with little gold(a slight contradiction=)) towards the man of my dreams and reality before those thousands who are dying to decide my worth by looking at the gold or my looks!:D...( the last phrase s what we call "dreams struck with reality")

It is just that for all practical reasons I want to have more of my spinster's share!!!(spinster-A person whose occupation is spinning according to the online dictionary..lolololol)

For all the people who are comparing this post to some Hindi movie whose title has no/little connection with the content, I am back to remind you the title- "HAPPY UGADI"-May all your personal and professional wishes come true at the right time=)=)

ಯುಗಾದಿ ಹಬ್ಬದ ಆರ್ಥಿಕ ಶುಭಾಶಯಗಳು!(for my kannada critic=))

Thursday, March 11, 2010

My hangover!

As on today I feel I have just washed hands of my life's best time. I must have felt like this when i finished my school, when my glorious pre university days culminated tragically (but luckily landed into my genre), when I had to leave my city for post graduation so on and so forth...But, the rest of the times it was merely because I had to sacrifice my comfort zone for something new which was still in my manageable circuit...whereas, my experience in a new city amongst totally new people without my parents to handle my feiry outbursts(well they have handed over the baton to somebody now..hehe...) has given me everything I wanted(as if I ever knew wht I wanted..lol)...

I ll miss my gang "vegetative proposals" the most! mostly because of the crazy routine we shared...can't get enough of those "gyanful" chats over tea at tappari after lunch/dinner....can't get enough of those tireless plans we made to explore as many places as we can...(plz note we made it to goa including many other chota mota trips! One of the BEST trips of my life)...can't get enough of those decisions regarding restaurants we had to make to fulfill all our needs...(My VEG food and others' non veg food and other non family stuff for others..lol)...can't get enough of those comments we used to pass on eachother...love you guys!

My flat and lotus days still haunt me...I ll miss you ICUUU:) whenever I ll need to speak non-stop over anything and everything without "editing"...we will still speak very frequently through our blogs, but the audio version won't b available that frequently..nevermind at least we both should never crib..lol:-)
Tejiiiiiiiiiiii....I ve started calling my brother nalayak but he doesn't respond like u..u see he s not a libran...hehehe...miss speaking to u too and for god's sake stop sending me ur comments on my id and directly comment on my blog ufff... palluuuuu it was really nice knowing you..stay in touch bullu...:)
I ll miss all the playful irritations i used to cause to purrrrrr...

I ll miss hanging out at panda's place okie okie hogging at panda's place.....3 cheers to the sin-city!!!!
My mom s more stringent about timings than our "baala" but look at the irony...I ve extreme emotions for both  :-D
I think the biggest alchemy of my life after NICMAR will be w.r.t bunking:(:( i can never bunk work...hmmm....

Nevertheless, looking at the brighter side now i ve HOME FOOD to relish (for few months though)!!!!

I can think of only one quote at this time...

"When i was young I was sure of everything; in a few years, having been mistaken a thousand times, I was not half so sure of most things as I was before; at present, I am hardly sure of anything but what God has revealed to me" - John Wesley

Cheers to the known and unknown!!!!

Saturday, February 20, 2010

A Cry Baby!

My college life is getting over

I want to taste something which compliments my taste buds and there is no way that can happen with mess food

I don't want to study for exams but i want to come back to my college for prestigious reasons only( convocation, etc.). This leaves me with no option but to study and get passing marks :|

I want to cry loudly but i am tired of being called as a cry baby, but i think stopping myself from such tearful activity is beyond my will...seriously...

I am getting into a big bad mad world of work(that's what all my frens working say!) alike everybody around me but i feel god is being unfair only to me...Y god Y???

I am in a transition phase where people find it highly tiring and insulting to ask pappa mamma for mulaah...

I am getting older (it is the most yuck feeling) which makes me realize that i should make priorities now as i can't have everything and when i feel i am almost there, my mind says(very self-seeking i must say) "you have one life live it..y should i sacrifice?"..phew yet another war won by my need over my ego and there i go "pappa last few days of my college life please remit some money!" and the worst part is i feel more bad when he says yes.....

Now i know y ppl call me a cry baby...:-)
But, you know what????
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I love to cryyyyyyyyy ;-);-)
I literally feel that all my stupid crappy condensed thoughts are getting precipitated!
So, here i GO!


Monday, February 8, 2010

The "piyakkad" point of view

I often ponder over adjectives like humble & gracious and wonder if they are ever used to describe nouns that are blunt and impatient!

I derived this doubt out of a recent observation and decided to apply piyakkad's logic to unravel it. The scenes consists of 3 non ficticious characters sipping Beer [yes! they are all girls].

Scene 1

Split personality:  hey you look gorgeous!
humble beauty: [chuckles] Don't exaggerate...[sips beer]But, the spell is cast by you....[smiles]
Split personality: [chuckles] Oh come on...[chuckles]

Scene 2

Split personality: hey you look neat...So finally you took bath eh?/!...just kidding[neighs]
Blunt beauty: [sips beer] you look like you have spent some serious time in front of the mirror and still not satisfied[smirks]
Split personality: [waits for her to say 'just kidding']
Blunt beauty: [sips beer]
Split personality: [decides to storm away but remembers the rules of graciousness and pauses ] okay then have a nice time..c u later[smiles forcefully]
Blunt beauty: [sips beer]

I just felt that the following beer quotes would compliment the temperaments of theses three characters.

"Yes, madam, I am drunk. But in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly"- Blunt beauty

"I drink when i have a occasion and sometimes when i have no occasion"- Split personality

"Drunk is feeling sophisticated when you can't say it"- Humble beauty

This is no promotion for drinking. I lately realized that most of my close frens are Bewdas so just thought of envisaging their point of view and this is what i arrived at!

Sidelining the sophisticated definitions, from a piyakkad's dictionary.....

Humility- The inability/hesitance to get high
Bluntness- The involuntary reaction of puking after getting high
Grace- The voluntary habit of pausing between drinks
Impatience- The uneasiness experienced while waiting for drinks

Hope all the non-piyakkads [alike me] have taken this in the right spirit!



A closing thought....


" The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind" -Humphrey Bogart

CHEERS!!!! 

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Bloggish!

English language unlike science is not universal. It varies with countries and within the different sectors of the society. Newton's law of gravity is valid everywhere except for the people who have bought or have been gifted with craters on the moon.

The fact that English has evolved/dissolved from a suffocatingly refined British rendition to slangish American version to a Bloggish adaptation has proven the language to be highly vulnerable/flexible!(just to respect both negative and positive thinkers)

The bloggish language has allowed many to explore their "always-wanted-to-use" phrases who were earlier forced by the Govt and Non-Govt forces to frame sentences with underlined meanings.
A quick sneak peak into some of the cliched yet very apna bloggish versions of politically correct phrases....

1. Most of our politicians are corrupt fucked up
2. Bone of contention pain in the ass
3. I am between jobs I sit on my ass all day doing nothing
4. The above expressed opinions are not meant to be taken personally I give a tiny rat's ass of what you derive out of my opinions!

For a more acidic version i may need help from BK aka Tiwari:) and guru...&
For all the people who love to give constipated looks whenever they come across such intimating phrases ,
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Don't be such a stick-in-the-mud:)
and you are welcome for more bloggish stuff....

Thursday, January 21, 2010

THE GREEN HOUR




Of late, a lot of things have been happening which have forced most of the fellas and fell(i)s to open up their minds to the some of the silliest things ignored in our daily lives!(including me! But, in this article we will be concentrating only on me)we have been hearing about the harmful consequences of using plastic bags, but very few places in our country strictly prohibit the usage.

Human behaviour is hilariously complex and some of us claim to be simple. With each passing day and my hypothesis getting challenged each day, I am realizing that for everything, there exists a theory of relativity. So when somebody says he/she is simple, it simply means that he/she is less complicated than some people. Okiez after all that free gyan let me come back to the point. I thought I was very Eco-friendly because I switch off my room lights before I leave, I don't use fans unnecessarily, I don't leave the tap open when I am brushing looking at my eyebrows in the mirror, I don't smoke (& I abuse my smoker frens that they read the message "smoking is injurious to health" on the cigarette pack and still buy them and screw up their health...u should check out when I am doing that..I am no less than Ektha Kapoor serial heroines..hehehe!), etc. But, an incident recently made me realize that I am still one of those many who play blame game on day to day basis and choose to ignore them very proudly.

It was a Sunday afternoon and it was burning hot. I went to a supermarket to buy my stationary and bought lots of them. After billing, the female at the counter looks at me and says "u can take this paper bag if u want because plastic bags have been banned in Pune and it costs 35 rupeez". I started abusing her as though it was my fundamental right to use plastic bags and poor lady kept on saying sorry madam till i stopped! When I turned back, I got some really dirty looks by fellow customers(hope they don't recognize me ever!).

We humans get so used to certain things that when we are deprived of them, we go crazy. when I told about this incident to my dad, he reminded me that long back when I was a budding revolutionary, after seeing usage of paper bags in Ooty I had commented that "y don't they use paper bags everywhere? Our government is useless". Phew! I didn't know what to say, but still it was the question of my pride so I replied, "they should have made prior announcements so that people can go prepared"(my dad had obviously expected this from me so he just grinned).

If you too are using plastic bags/bottles, please reduce the usage as recycling of plastic is not all that advantageous. Recycled plastics are used to make non recyclable products such as T-shirts, plastic lumber. This means more raw materials need to be used to make new plastic bottles than is the case with easily recycled material such as glass, tin or bio degradable plastic.

This incident is a fine example to support the fact that going green is a little expensive initially, which I believe is one of the reasons behind apprehensions of people to switch to green practices be it something as huge as green buildings or something as small as paper bags! However, I hope that everybody wakes up to truth that global warming is really warning us and it's no fun to play with the nature. So, to celebrate my realization regarding plastic bags I decided to paint my nails green :):):) So at this green hour, I thought of blogging about this!



Saturday, January 16, 2010

SOMEBODIEZZZ...

Two years back when I started my post graduation at this esteemed institution:):):), we were two of us(actually it will b the same throughout our lives..hehe..)who had frens but no F.R.I.E.N.D.S  for both of us to hang out and be ourselves(as in to speak shitty stuff and still not feel disgusted ). But, now towards the fag end of my course we(can't be disclosed) got close to some real crappy(it's crapcorn ppl so crappy s a positive adjective) ppl who have added different shades of fun and masti to our lives...I ll miss these days but I m an optimist so I wish that none of us will lose even a tinge of

1.barbarism(because we are all pure sadists as we derive immense pleasure out of commenting on anything and everything dynamic and static :-))
2. Mispronunciation skills(hehe…we have a critic who controls his abusing skills while correcting us…u will soon be introduced to this dynamically static object )
3. cravings for super duper things at super duper timings with SUPER planning(biriyani-hyderabadi biriyani, khazi biriyani, reddy biriyani, buffalo’s milk, choco fantasy from coffee day and most importantly PANI PURI..HEHEHEHE…)
4. defence mechanisms( we are what we are! So we defend whatever we do/…this is the slogan which unites us!)
I have to mention about many other interesting ppl but these are the rare post graduate species who will stay my  F.R.I.E.N.D.S  forever..cheers!
Let me introduce them one by one in the chronological order of age!( how I love this!)
1.     
This s baiky…the reason behind choosing this pic was to partially protect his identity because he has verbally battered so many that they might want to take their revenge! He s the critic I was referring to who feels ripped when we add extra effects to some of the words which are not primarily meant for us. He s one of those leonines who don’t roar uncontrollably and unnecessarily to get noticed. He stays happily outside his den with a calm mind with jibes and free trailer gyan coming out of him every now and then. He s an anti feminist but man enuff to allow his woman to chase her dreams without any reservations. You will always remain my favourite critic baikyyyyyyyyy….

2. this is boda...hehe...
Meet the most photogenic guy of our gang and you will know why after u r done with scrolling over all the pics.
He opens his mouth solely to abuse me in Telugu and I enjoy it thoroughly as I don’t get the tiniest clue of what he s uttering. I remember studying n biology that Mastication(chewing process) and saliva secretion work in harmony to execute digestion in mouth (for the rest of us), but for our boda these two is accompanied with abuses for me! he is highly self obsessed..he has stored around 400 pics..ahem ahem..solo pics of himself in his mobile! He is another leo who automatically draws gals towards him due to his effortless gud looks but drives them away due to his specifications. if any body is a reddy or has got any reddy female frens please revert. The other specifications can be
dealt with if shortlisted for the finale.

3. this is our thirat iyer
he can be jailed for breach of identity as his ethnicity is totally screwed up(3/4th by himself and the quarter by others). I have deliberalety put this john abraham pose alike pic....all JC fans please ignore because i know that he will send this link to all the eligible iyer girls as it s not so moral according to him to show them these kinda pics directly to them!he s yet another leo who makes enough sounds for people to notice him and say giriisssssssssssssss!

he loves to make sisters but exhibits genuine brotherhood!
he pulls up his shoulders and walks so that he looks tall :)
matrimonial sites are blocked in our college due to his excessive usage
and for heaven's sake i love to abuse him:):):)

4. this is mogliiiiiiiiii

his birth is the most interesting phenomenon that has taken place since 1986 in hyderabad. He can pay 170 bucks for a movie ticket and doze amidst hundreds howling and hooting like a kadu paapa(kannada version of mogli :)). He s a highly accessorised man with his branded watch, branded clothes, branded and imported footwear, very expensive hoodies and not to forget his highly manoeuvrable avenger:). he s the cutest friend one can have and expects his friends to be cute too..lol...he s the laziest with the most untouchable routine but the most adored by all our gangmates.
you'll always remain my friend in deeds and needs mogliiiiiiiiiiiii

5. this is vinayak(just now i realised that he doesnt have a pet name..sheesh..shame on my part)


he may forget to take his phone from unknown places,
he may forget to pay his fees on time
he may forget to wish you "happy birthday" though the person next to him is wishing you
but he will not forget to say "ni amma" for every person who belongs to this ammaland(amma in south stands for mother)
he is the most easy going person i have come accross in my life and makes his own simple and cute appriasals of everything and everybody around...a lovely dancer but not so gud at singing( but he sings whenever u ask him:-)) A crazy driver and a has the sharpest sense of humour as he bursts out at ll my PJs:-)


6. this s reddysquare



I am sure he will freak out when he sees this pic..lol.... this once upon a time saint like person is no more a saint. he will defend saying that it is because of sahavasa dosham but let me give one information-his voice cracked recently..lol...he mocks at half the things by his inimitable laugh and he is an excellent carrom player!
he doesn't do anything without informing our boda and mostly listens to him...no wonder he s getting used to posing :)


7. this is our panda

he s the chubbiest and he hates it because ppl nearly molest him! he s the best male cook i have come across. he s the best host ever who makes sure that ur plate is filled before you ask for some more food..:)
we have many similarities..we both live for food, we love to miss classes, and we both are kannadigas at heart! (baikunth and mallus plz ignore the last one)..he s an active member of " convince-confuse-corrupt" sect of ppl..one of the founder members of the sin-city..cheers to all the fun we had!